TF94 | Spouses | Big Sky, MT
To some I know and some I have yet to meet,
While I am extremely proud of all the work we do at Big Sky Bravery, my heart is with our Spouse Programs. It is a rare and tremendous blessing to be able to turn your pain into purpose, and that is exactly how I would describe my role as a Task Force Director for the SOF spouses we serve. Every Task Force is unique and full of lifelong memories and hugely impactful moments. While every TF has similarities, they also contain stark contrasts.
This group of women was meant to be together at this time in our lives and at this exact place. I have never seen so many walls come crashing down, allowing vulnerability to rush in, wash away the rubble of decades, and restore hearts and souls.
The unspoken understanding in this group was palpable. We arrived weary and left rejuvenated. We showed up as a quieter version of ourselves and left shouting who we are as individuals from the rooftops. Personalities bloomed, deep belly laughter surrounded us, tears fell freely from eyes that have seen so much, and hearts were held lovingly that have ached for far, far too long.
One of the recipients told me on our last night together that she was so sorry nothing like this was available when I was on the same journey they are on. At that exact moment, I knew our work was invaluable and that every bit of the heartache in my journey was worth it. All of these women feel the same. They live lives of sacrifice, not just lives that often lack the presence of their husbands, but lives that are lonely, excruciating, and often require the demand to simply put one foot in front of the other until the next day’s light appears. They have lives few could make it through, yet they do so with pride, determination, and an overwhelming love for every human who stands with them and believes in what they are doing.
We’re all here for a reason, and we can make an impact on the lives of others. I hope you know how deeply and truly you, Big Sky Bravery donors, are doing just that.
With a heart full of gratitude,
Allyson Keller
Task Force 94 Director
TF94 Volunteers:
Louise Schelhammer
Emily Hanson
TF94 Patriots:
Dori Schelhammer (home-cooked meals, laughter, and love)
Canyon Adventures (side-by-sides & guides)
Lone Mountain Ranch (rodeo, great food, & drinks)
Martha Johson (group dinner at Blue Buddha)
Melissa Culver (BSB world-famous chocolate chip cookies)
ANTHEM (lots of yummy jerky to snack on)
“I came to Montana broken. I didn’t know I would meet 8 people that would help me find the pieces to help me put myself back together. I gained so much confidence on the side by sides and the hike, and the nightly talks. I promised myself when I left my family that I would put 100% of my effort into being in Montana. To get the most out of the experience and use the time up there to better myself.
Now that I’m home, I feel like I owe the people of Big Sky Bravery and all of the friends I made, to putting 100% effort into being my best self down here. I am carrying each of them with me in some amazing special way. Hoping to pass some of these lessons to my children and implement them into my marriage.
We laughed, we cried, we transformed. From strangers to family. From the shadows to the light. I left part of my heart in Montana. What an incredible adventure! Big Sky Bravery gave me something I thought was long lost. I can’t wait to share the new me with the world!
Love Always,
C.”
“Big Sky Bravery changed my life forever. I have been married to a unit member for ten years. I have waited for his return from numerous armed conflicts, austere locations, and far-away training over a dozen times. Being married to an active member of SOF is isolating and frightening. Whenever our husbands deploy, we don’t know if we will ever see them again. When our husbands return home, we do not know how long they will stay. When we share moments of silence or share sleepless nights, there is no knowing their mind or burdens. Being the spouse of a SOF member is not without pride and joy. However, it comes with the challenges of raising children alone and never being able to tell your family or friends where your spouse is or what they are doing. The spouse of a SOF member is giving their loved one FIRST to the country, while also shielding children from a lot of unknown fears. We are all hoping we get them back, in one piece, upon retirement. Big Sky Bravery is the first and only organization that understands and recognizes these unique challenges.
Big Sky Bravery knows that what SOF members have done, seen, and given is not normal. The OPTEMPO of SOF is not normal. The strain on the service member and their families is not normal. So, Big Sky Bravery goes to abnormal lengths to recognize and repair what SOF and their families go through. BSB knows they have to provide the absolute best and the absolute most discreet experiences to SOF.
As a wife, I have never felt more understood. I have also never felt more safe. I was able to process the hardships of loving and living with a SOF member, in a small group, for the first time in my life. We were able to sit in awe of our spouses while also acknowledging the struggle that comes with this unique kind of service to the country.
Big Sky Bravery is meeting the SOF member and their spouses right where it counts: in active duty, when everyone is running and in the thick of it. BSB has figured out how to provide the best for our nation’s best. BSB is thoughtful, prepared, inclusive, and organized.
Big Sky Bravery understands the restorative powers of nature and submersed us in the natural beauty of Montana. All of this to say, it was the three sponsors who guided us through our week-long experience that made all of the difference. Without Ally, Weezie, and Emily, none of the wives in our group would have connected in a meaningful way. We went from strangers and women who “don’t need women and thrive on our isolation” to a group of extremely close friends. Ally, Emily, and Weezie were exceptional guides. They were warm, welcoming, honest, forthcoming, and allowed us to bare our souls in no time flat. I’ve never felt such complete trust in other women or any organization. These sponsors never made me feel judged. I felt accepted and understood. They created an environment where we could all be ourselves.
Big Sky Bravery will forever be woven into the fabric of my soul. I was someone who wanted to withhold and thought I didn’t need new friends. Now I will do anything to lift these women up for the rest of my life. BSB helped me to reevaluate who I am as a spouse and a mother. I will return home with a clearer mind, able to continue to stand behind my SOF spouse, more committed than ever.
Thank you to Big Sky Bravery and to donors who make Big Sky possible for SOF and SOF wives. The impact is immeasurable. BSB changes lives - - and I am sure it saves lives (and marriages) too.
J”
“Before I came out to BSB, I got online and read the other testimonials and was extremely skeptical. I didn’t think there was any way a week could change you or your perspective or have as much impact as people wrote about, but now I get it. I’ve never felt the pure love and support that we got from Big Sky Bravery. What they say, they live. It was incredible to meet so many people who actually care. I was fortunate enough to have been selected, and from that moment, they’re in contact with you already making you feel so important. The women running our TF were, without a doubt, the most amazing, loving, patriotic, and selfless women I’ve ever met.
We live a life not many understand unless they’re in it, a life where we are in the back a lot, holding down the home front, being mom and dad, and being someone else’s emotional support. For me, the week with BSB showed me that the life I’m living isn’t alone, that my loneliness isn’t in vain, that what I’m doing matters, and that I’m not just a support in the shadows, that we are seen! I feel like in a short week at BSB, my perspective on my family and on the life we’re living changed. I see that this life is appreciated and that people do care! I will forever be tied to the women in my TF; they will forever be my family and people I know I can reach out to for anything. You go into the week not knowing each other and come out the other side bonded for life.”
M.
"When I attended Big Sky Bravery's spouse task force program, I had the advantage of knowing a very small piece of what I might be getting myself into. My husband and also a good friend of mine had been a part of a task force prior to me. I knew some activities we might participate in, I knew there would be questions to discuss in the evenings with the group and I knew I would possibly be in a house with five other women of whom I would most likely not know.
I grew up in Colorado and had been missing the mountains and the peace I feel nature can bring, so I was excited about the possibility of being in Montana among some of the most beautiful scenery America has to offer. I had been on a waitlist for a year and was hopeful I would be able to participate. When my husband told me that I would be attending a task force in the summer, I was ecstatic and I anticipated all of the fun activities!
In the days leading up to my departure, I became anxious, less sure of myself, and nervous. I was afraid to leave my three daughters for that long, nervous to be in a house with eight complete strangers, and wondering if I was even worthy of such a trip. I half talked myself out of going but knew that someone else had paid my way to attend, and I wasn't about to take their generosity for granted. Allyson Keller made me feel more confident about coming through her genuine love for what she does. She had facetimed every single woman going to ease anxiety and to "meet" us before we arrived. She was warm, informative, and excited. It was contagious!
On arrival day, we were greeted with warm smiles and open arms from everyone at Big Sky Bravery and six strangers introduced themselves to each other that would become TF94. In the following days, I would come to realize that everything I thought I knew was just surface-level information of what I would experience. I did, indeed, have an amazing time driving side by sides up the mountain, attending an outdoor rodeo, and hiking through the most beautiful mountainsides I had laid eyes and boots on. However, I walked away with so much more than a fun experience. I walked away with friendships for life, a new respect and understanding of my husband and I got a piece of myself back that I had missed for years. I walked away being seen.
Allyson, Louise, and Emily put in the work to not only care for every single woman there to ensure a real break from everyday life, but to also really see us. They paid attention and took the time to get to know each of us individually and as a whole. Facilitating a task force of SOF military spouses is not an easy task, considering we rarely get together in our everyday lives due to misconceptions of lifestyles, opposite schedules, and hesitancy of each other. They created a safe space for us to be ourselves and to share our greatest struggles that most of us had buried deep so that we can keep things running at home. The love and care they showed was genuine and the patriotism was refreshing. These are women who love their country and the men and women who serve it.
To hear there are people who really do care about my husband and the family who supports him brought me to tears on more than one occasion. It is easy as a military spouse to feel forgotten and isolated, especially in a community that is rarely ever seen. These patriotic individuals gifted me something I can never truly repay them for. I returned home refreshed with a renewed sense of worth, acknowledgment, and purpose. I was blown away more and more each day as I received more information about Big Sky Bravery and its donors. This is an incredible program, and I can't sing its praises enough. Thank you for loving me and my family. Thank you for caring!"
N.
“BSB TF94 holds a huge place in my heart, and I will forever cherish these women I grew to know. It is so hard to find a starting place for how this program transformed my inner self to be a better wife and mother to our children. For years my husband has served in the SOF community, and it has been one of the hardest things in my life to deal with. Once we decided to have children, we made the decision together for me to stay home with them since his job keeps him away so incredibly much. That choice has been the most isolating experience I never imagined to happen. I have questioned myself so many times because it always seems my husband gets all these adventures, and I'm left behind, unseen, unheard, and almost unrecognizable to myself.
Ally, Emily, and Weezie opened my eyes up to the world of people who do, in fact, care about those of us spouses continuously left behind. In the last eight years, I've never felt so heard until these incredible people stepped into my life. Every single night ending in deep questions, absolutely LIT MY SOUL ON FIRE!! It turned out to be my favorite part of the week. I didn't realize until those moments how much I craved the interaction and desperately needed it as well. I am truly inspired by knowing that complete strangers made this trip happen and can only pray that I can be a part of this solution to help others one day, and that I can love on other moms who feel the same isolation I have felt over the last 8 years.
BSB gave me a week to find myself again, a week to not be needed, a week to be 100% present with my own self, and mostly a week to see where I need to make my own changes at home so I can take care of myself and be the BEST mom and wife I can be. For these things alone, there aren't enough words to express how thankful I am to those that made this trip happen.
TF94 will forever be threaded in my heart. Thank you for that.”
F.
“The gratitude I feel for your selflessness and patriotism to a group of complete strangers is near impossible to comprehend. For 15 years now, I have served and sacrificed alongside my husband. We have been through 10 or more deployments, countless trainings away from home, and have been relocated 4 times. Having to say goodbye each time to friends and family we have grown to love; and to reestablish community for support.
In those 15 years, there has never been a moment when I have felt as seen, heard, respected, and as appreciated as I have during my week at Big Sky. This experience has changed my life in so many ways! I came home with a new perspective on my future and a group of lifelong friends that I absolutely love and adore. Thank you for providing this blessing to our family.”
K.
